"Quit waiting for a grand Ah Ha moment and listen up cause this is it!...."

That was verbatim what the Holy Spirit said to me about 8 years ago and continues to whisper to me almost daily and so of course that's what I had to call my blog.  I can name on one hand the amount of times that I've heard the audible voice of God and this was one of them.

You see, if you really knew me you would know that all my life I have had larger than life plans to be something BIG!  At times it was a singer and other times an actress and still yet other times when I knew that I was going to be a life coach so to speak.  I was gonna be on the agenda and travel the circuit with those great women of faith and share my story and change lives!  The only problem was...what was I gonna share and when would I be ready?  I would get up to sing and the only way I could make it through was to completely close my eyes during the ENTIRE song and the few times I've had the opportunity to speak I have literally wept so much that I couldn't understand what I was saying and I'm the one who wrote it.

I don't want you to think that I'm full of myself but at the same time I have always felt a calling on my life and for the most part I have ran from it because I know that completing surrendering my life to Him will mean some big changes and some of them frankly will be hard to make and I also know that until I am willing to make those changes that He won't use me for what He's planning.  I know this because this is an ongoing argument that I have with my Lord often.  I say argument because that's the kind of relationship we have and I know He knows my heart so I may as well not try to hide it from Him.

Anyway, I had to say all of that to get to this.  One day in the car when I was arguing with God yet again about using me the way I was and begging Him to show me His grandiose plan for me He very simply said "Quit waiting for a grand Ah Ha moment and listen up cause this is it!  I want you to live your life as I gave mine, ON PURPOSE, WITH PURPOSE!"  Wow!  I pondered this statement for days.  I was on fire and I couldn't wait to get this message out.  You think I'm kidding but my kids were so sick of hearing about this.  I went online and ordered OPWP bracelets and made my children wear them and I purchased the web address www.onpurposewithpurpose.com* because I knew that this was big......

Needless to say once again I was doing things in my own time like I always do instead of waiting on Him. What was I gonna do with a web address?  I knew nothing about how to maintain a website and still don't.
He had to take me back to the basics and teach me what He wanted me to learn that day:
    **I needed to know that His life wasn't taken from Him, He freely gave it, ON PURPOSE WITH a PURPOSE and I needed to model my life after that.  Every choice I made, big or small, should be made on purpose with a purpose.  I needed to stop living my life, bouncing from wave to wave, merely surviving and existing.  I needed to do things purposefully with forethought and with His glory in mind.**

Do I always manage this? NO! But thankfully my Friend who is closer than a brother takes the time to whisper to me "Do this on purpose with purpose" and most the time I'm smart enough to slow down and listen.  I think I'm one step closer to becoming what He wants me to be but every time I think that I can picture Him chuckling to Himself and saying "Here we go again!"  So I guess for now I'm gonna be content until He deems me ready for the next step and in the meantime I will continue to strive to make my choices with a purpose that brings Him glory!

*If you visit that website you will find that it is no longer mine.  It belongs to a sporting agency of some kind that gives sports lessons.  I kept it for 3 years and then let it go which I regret, but you live and learn!