"Oh that I would live my life as Christ gave His....on purpose with purpose!"

Friday, June 10, 2011

"Woman of Color"

One day I was watching the morning show and the governor of Louisanna, who happened to be a black man, was on and he was talking about which canidate he was supporting to replace him as governor.  After he listed some reasons, he ended with saying ultimately he was supporting the woman who was running because she was a "woman of color".

Right then, God spoke to me and reminded me that I too am a woman of color.  I pondered it for several days and spoke to Him about it often.  I was afraid that I would step on toes but He let me know that whether or not I would ever get the chance to speak to a multitude about this subject, it would ALWAYS be close to my heart.  You see its not that I don't think God sees in color, afterall, He made the peacock and the rainbow.  Its just that I think that God sees EVERY color as a marvelous thing created by Him and that white, or tan or peach or whatever you call this color that I am, it is indeed a color.

I was working at the daycare when I wrote this poem and I was having alot of difficulty with the Cherokee Nation.  Everywhere I turned I was hitting a wall and I felt like I was being discriminated against because I wasn't indian enough for them.  I hope this poem doesn't offend anyone but at the same time I don't want to apologize for it.  I believe that it was inspired by the Holy Spirit even if just to get me out of the valley I was walking in at that time.  Every letter I recieved from the Cherokee Nation was signed by the Chief, Chad Smith, and he would sign it "I am,    Chad Smith, Principal Chief".  After that when I would have corrsepondance with him or anyone I would sign my letter "I am ,    Becky Morehead, Woman of Color."  I always hoped that would spur someone to ask me about it but they never did.  That was probably God looking out for me knowing I wasn't ready to speak about it yet.  Anyway, here's my poem, please be kind, it is from my heart afterall! :)

Woman of Color

You say you're a woman of color
And I believe you are what you say
But before you go any further
Let me ask you this if I may...

Does my skin not have a color?
Don't I have a heritage too?
Your loved ones were treated unfairly,
but have I been unfair to you?

Please don't blame me for how you've been treated
For just because my skin is "white"
Doesn't mean that I've had it easy,
Or that I haven't had to fight.

Now I pray that you don't misunderstand me,
We should hold fast to what used to be,
and learn from those gone before us
who paved the path so that we could be free.

But know this,  if you were to ask me
I would stand up and proudly say -
I too am a woman of color...
Lighter skinned yet paving the way!

I am,

Becky Morehead
Woman of Color

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Do you believe in angels? How about TEENAGE angels?

If you know me then hopefully you know that I love children.  Half of my life has been spent working with them either as my vocation outside my home or in my church and of course with the five that God has entrusted me with personally.  But what most people don't know is that while I love children, I am terrified of teenagers. Which can be a problem for me because ALL of those wonderful loving children that I grow to love so much eventually turn into teenagers and then what? :)

Well, a dear friend of mine, who happens to be a high school teacher needed someone to fill in for her a few weeks ago and she asked me if I would be willing.  Of course my first thought was "eeeekkkk teenagers?" but I wanted to help her and I could definitely use the money so I said yes.  Now don't be confused, I didn't teach her class, it was more like I was a babysitter/monitor for the day.  I could write several posts on the time I spent with them but I want to tell you about the "angel" who left a message behind for me in the form of a partially written report that no doubt was being written for an assignment that would be turned in for a grade.

It was about 3 pm and I was walking around trying to complete the end of the day to-do list that she had left for me and on the floor was a folded up piece of notebook paper with handwriting on it.  Because I had once been a teenager and could remember some of the private thoughts that I had shared in my notes back in the day I did experience an inner struggle as to whether or not I should read the note or throw it away or leave it for the janitor, etc...

Of course curiosity prevailed and so I began to read the "note".  After I read it and read it again, I sat right down in that classroom and cried and prayed for my son and my daughter, both seniors in high school, and both I'm a little scared of at times.  In that prayer I asked God to help me to always remember the content of the note and I humbly thanked Him for knowing me well enough to know that I needed to read this.

I don't feel at all guilty for sharing the content with you for two reasons.  The first one being there is no name on the note and so there is no way for you or me to know who left it behind and the most important is that I truly do believe that this was my Heavenly Father talking to me that day and I think parents of all teenagers should hear what He had to say.

The note is written by a girl and in the beginning she is explaining about how she had visited a behavior facility at a medical center for teenagers.  It doesn't say if she was a resident for a time or just a visitor but she explains that while she is there the other girls began to confide in her as to why they were there.  This is where I will pick up in her words......

    "Suicide is a big issue that really needs to be addressed.  I learned reasons why they do it and
     ways to help keep it from happening.  The name has been changed to hide the identity but
     here is one story:
     Reason she was there was she overdosed on Zanex and cut herself trying to escape the pain.
     Her parents found her passed out and unresponsive.  She was brought to the center by
     ambulance.  Her "pain" in her life was that her parents wouldn't pay any attention to her.  They
     never asked her how her day was or even sat down as a family.  She felt ignored and not loved."

She went on to write:

     "Parents don't realize that they really do make an impact on their children's life.  You can have
      tons of friends who love you and support you but its a persons home life that really makes a

Wow!  I serve a living God that met me right there in the middle of a circumstance that He knew was way outside of my comfort zone and taught me, the "teacher" a lesson about love that I will never forget!  And now, whenever I get the privilege to be around teenagers I just think to myself, there's nothing to be scared of, in fact there may be angels among us and then I simply ask them about their day! :)

Friday, February 18, 2011

"Quit waiting for a grand Ah Ha moment and listen up cause this is it!...."

That was verbatim what the Holy Spirit said to me about 8 years ago and continues to whisper to me almost daily and so of course that's what I had to call my blog.  I can name on one hand the amount of times that I've heard the audible voice of God and this was one of them.

You see, if you really knew me you would know that all my life I have had larger than life plans to be something BIG!  At times it was a singer and other times an actress and still yet other times when I knew that I was going to be a life coach so to speak.  I was gonna be on the agenda and travel the circuit with those great women of faith and share my story and change lives!  The only problem was...what was I gonna share and when would I be ready?  I would get up to sing and the only way I could make it through was to completely close my eyes during the ENTIRE song and the few times I've had the opportunity to speak I have literally wept so much that I couldn't understand what I was saying and I'm the one who wrote it.

I don't want you to think that I'm full of myself but at the same time I have always felt a calling on my life and for the most part I have ran from it because I know that completing surrendering my life to Him will mean some big changes and some of them frankly will be hard to make and I also know that until I am willing to make those changes that He won't use me for what He's planning.  I know this because this is an ongoing argument that I have with my Lord often.  I say argument because that's the kind of relationship we have and I know He knows my heart so I may as well not try to hide it from Him.

Anyway, I had to say all of that to get to this.  One day in the car when I was arguing with God yet again about using me the way I was and begging Him to show me His grandiose plan for me He very simply said "Quit waiting for a grand Ah Ha moment and listen up cause this is it!  I want you to live your life as I gave mine, ON PURPOSE, WITH PURPOSE!"  Wow!  I pondered this statement for days.  I was on fire and I couldn't wait to get this message out.  You think I'm kidding but my kids were so sick of hearing about this.  I went online and ordered OPWP bracelets and made my children wear them and I purchased the web address www.onpurposewithpurpose.com* because I knew that this was big......

Needless to say once again I was doing things in my own time like I always do instead of waiting on Him. What was I gonna do with a web address?  I knew nothing about how to maintain a website and still don't.
He had to take me back to the basics and teach me what He wanted me to learn that day:
    **I needed to know that His life wasn't taken from Him, He freely gave it, ON PURPOSE WITH a PURPOSE and I needed to model my life after that.  Every choice I made, big or small, should be made on purpose with a purpose.  I needed to stop living my life, bouncing from wave to wave, merely surviving and existing.  I needed to do things purposefully with forethought and with His glory in mind.**

Do I always manage this? NO! But thankfully my Friend who is closer than a brother takes the time to whisper to me "Do this on purpose with purpose" and most the time I'm smart enough to slow down and listen.  I think I'm one step closer to becoming what He wants me to be but every time I think that I can picture Him chuckling to Himself and saying "Here we go again!"  So I guess for now I'm gonna be content until He deems me ready for the next step and in the meantime I will continue to strive to make my choices with a purpose that brings Him glory!

*If you visit that website you will find that it is no longer mine.  It belongs to a sporting agency of some kind that gives sports lessons.  I kept it for 3 years and then let it go which I regret, but you live and learn!

Thursday, February 17, 2011

Why Blog?

Thats exactly what some of my most beloved family members are either thinking or have asked me.  The best answer I can give is why not blog? :)  I have so many thoughts in my head, some useful some not so much, and its theraputic for me to write them down or in this case type them down so why not.  You certainly don't have to read my thoughts but this way I can make room for more thoughts and still be able to go back and read what I was thinking before.  I would like to tell you that I have it all figured out and know exactly the PURPOSE that this blog will serve but I don't yet, all I know is that God has been leading me to exactly the point that I am right this moment and I am going to keep obeying Him and let Him use me for His glory and then maybe some day I will be able to give you a definitive answer as to Why Blog? For now, that's the best I can do.....